Bus Jokes: Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school? I wouldn't fit through the door. What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? Funniest Clean Bus Jokes. A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is. They got to school, and Billy got off the bus and.

Sponsored Links ∇ - The Drunk Will and Guy have an old friend called Dave Barker who lives in Portsmouth, Hampshire. In recent years Dave has turned his hand to driving buses. One Friday an inebriated man got on Dave's double-decker bus and sat in the bottom deck close to Dave. Now, Dave is not meant to allow drunks onto his bus but he had a good heart and let the man stay on. The man started rambling on and on, so Dave suggested he should sit upstairs.

'The air is cleaner up there and you'll get a much better view.' The man agreed, but returned a few minutes later. 'What's wrong?' 'Don't you like it better up there?'

'It's fine', the drunk said. 'But it's too dangerous: There's no driver'. Next Stop At the next stop two more drunks got onto a bus.

The first, name of Bill, asks 'Will this bus take me to 25th Street?' The bus driver says, 'No, it won't.' After a pause, the second man, name of Gerry, inquires, 'What about me?' Footnote One day, perhaps we will tell the full story of Dave, the asthma attack and the breathalyzer, but for now I leave the details to your imagination. Dave, our bus driver friend, tells the story of when he was driving a bus load pensioners to Brighton, on a day trip, when he was tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offered him a handful of peanuts, which he happily took and ate. After about 20 minutes, she tapped him on his shoulder again and she handed him another handful of peanuts.

The old dear repeated this generous gesture several more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he decided to ask the little old lady, 'Why don't you and your friends eat the peanuts yourself?' 'We can't chew them because We've no teeth', she answered. Dave was puzzled and enquired, 'Then why on earth do you buy them?' 'Oh, we just love the chocolate around them', replied the old lady.

One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzips her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step.

Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way.

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